I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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