it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
