He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Randomize
