Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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