I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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