i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
