Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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