if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
