a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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