Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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