Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
