Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
