And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
