Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
