College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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