Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
