the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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