Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What drink are we having for lunch?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
