HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
