I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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