maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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