You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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