Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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