On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
