I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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