so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
