i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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