Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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