Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
