he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
