is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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