Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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