remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
