You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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