Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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