How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
