i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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