I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
