it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
