I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
