she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
