Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
