9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have fence marks all over my body
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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