Christians are straight up FREAKS
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
