i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
