One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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