I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
