My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Welp...herpes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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