you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
