do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
