guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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