i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
