DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
