I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
