god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
